I remember sitting at work, with a belly that no longer allowed me to reach my keyboard, dreaming about maternity leave. I imagined sitting at home with baby, catching up on Grey’s Anatomy and eating all the pre-cooked meals I had been preparing. Pure bliss.
Although this housebound life was fabulous during those early days of postpartum chaos, I soon became starved for conversation. I would find myself narrating my days to my daughter.
“Mommy’s making coffee! One scoop, two scoop, Yay! Now add the water, see the water, glug glug glug. Push the on button. Hurray! Coffee time!”
By the end of the day I was so starved for adult conversation that I would attack my work weary husband as soon as he walked through the door. “Tell me about your day! What did you do? Who did you see? What did they say?” The poor guy didn’t have a chance. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I was going to have to make some friends, but not just any friends, Mommy friends.
Not since the days of monkey bars and packed lunches are we thrust into situations where making friends is necessary for survival. Yet, unlike school, Mom’s aren’t just milling about at recess, waiting for a teeter-totter partner. If you want to make Mom friends, you actually have to find them!
I’ve been navigating the waters of making Mom friends in Victoria since my daughter was born. After 9 months of maternity leave, I’m happy to say I’ve managed to make a core group of Mom friends, and met countless others along the way. Here are the top ways that I managed to track down my fellow Mom’s.
Structured Weekly Meet-Ups:
The first place I went to start my search for Mom friends was Google. I discovered there are lots of businesses that run weekly Mom/Baby events. These are great launching points for meeting other Moms, creating a routine to get out of the house, and exposing baby to other kids. Here are a few of the big structured groups that happen in Victoria:
Mothering Touch: Eva and her group host weekly group meet-ups for babies and toddlers. Arrive to these meet-ups with any baby questions you might have, as these ladies are a fantastic resource for all things baby related.
Strong Start: Strong start is a provincial program for young children age birth to five. They are hosted by early-childhood educators throughout Victoria and are a great tool to prepare your children for Kindergarten.
Story time: Each library branch in Victoria hosts a Storytime at different times during the week. This is a great resource for Mom’s who are on baby number two, as your older child can run around and where our some energy in a safe environment!
Although there are countless others, these are great places to start when you are first trying to get out there and meet other Mom’s
Rock the Social Media:
Let’s be honest, even though we try to avoid exposing young little eyes to that small little phone screen, sometimes Facebook is the only thing to keep us sane during middle of the night feedings. Joining Mom’s groups on Facebook is a great way to get to know local Mom’s and find out when meet ups are happening. A couple big Mom groups here in Victoria include, Victoria B.C Mommies, Westshore Mums and then of course all the Mommble Groups (Mosaic Mom’s for 2017, Mighty Mom’s for 2016, Magnificent Mom’s for 2015 etc).
Word to the wise though, TOO much social media can have the adverse effect. In my opinion, cabin fever combined with the regular old Mom stress can make people reactive and forget that posting on social media is actually posting to the world. I’ve seen many Mom’s groups crumple because of hurt feeling, differing opinions and all around catty behaviour. The magic of these online groups is if they aren’t working for you anymore, you can leave them with just a click of a button.
Seek Out Your Interests:
Meeting new Mom’s is awesome, but after everyone catches up on who is eating, crawling and what colour everyone poop is, it’s nice to have more things to talk about. It helps if you already have things in common with the Mom’s you are meeting Are you passionate about Baby Wearing? Meet some of the baby wearing mamas. Love exercising? Join a Mom fitness class. Love cooking? Connect with a Mom who sells Epicure. It’s important to remember that we were all amazing, fabulous women before these adorable squishes took over our lives. Connecting with Mom’s who have common interests is a great way to remember that!
Just Say Hi:
Early on in my mat leave, there were many days where I was tempted to walk out onto the Galloping Goose, stand in the middle and accost the next person with a stroller. I envisioned myself begging them to have a grown up conversation with me. In the end, I probably should have! If you really want to meet other Mom’s, put yourself out there! If you see a fellow Mom doing stroller laps of Mayfair or sitting in the shallow end of the YMCA, go say hi! Although it may seem scary, they will likely appreciate the adult conversation just as much as you will!
It’s like dating all over again ladies! Now go out there and meet some Moms!