lasso

There are days I definitely need a lasso to wrangle my crew in. I know I’m not alone, I can see it happening all around me. One kid is going one way while the other is sprinting in the opposite direction.

Did I mention I also have a dog? He’s pretty good BUT he is a big goofball that requires a lot of attention and some days I don’t have that to give him therefor he feels it’s every strangers job to pet him and acknowledge his existence. He is harmless so I usually don’t pay too much attention to him when we are out and he takes off . We call him the Walmart greeter.

When I had my second little gal I thought I would probably never leave the house again with these three alone. My almost two year old was being a sweet darling two-uchebag and not really listening. Okay, not listening at all. I was convinced I was going to be shelled up in my home day after day, forever and ever. I know, so dramatic, I blame the post pregnancy hormones – they get me every time.

Eventually that fear went away along with the cloud of hormones and I ventured out. Short stints to begin with. I mean I wasn’t crazy or anything. After a few trips I started to get braver and ballsier. Afterall, I’m the mom, the boss of these three, the alpha, they have to listen to me. Right?? I’m sure you know the answer to that. Sure, I’m the mom, the one who is supposed to be in charge but they are kids and they like to push ALL buttons ALL the freaking time. When I only had one kid it wasn’t hard chasing her down but now with these two feisty gals they feed off each other and gang up against me. I said it, my one and three year old tag team me and I’m acknowledging it and not ashamed. In fact, I think it’s rather brilliant of them and I wish I had thought of it first.

These days when I head out I actually take them to wide open spaces. I honestly think kids and dogs require the same type of exercise and places to exert their pent up energy. I know for a fact people think I am crazy when we are out because they straight up tell me. It’s usually not because of the two kids alone, but when my big goofball dog comes roaring in from the opposite direction and charges at them for a greeting that I get the “you got your hands full, don’t ya?” Did I mention he is only four? In Lab years that makes him forever one and forever crazy.

I remember one morning at Dallas road I brought another kid, she actually isn’t more work but rather helps with the lassoing. I had 3 kids, 2 scooters, one stroller and a dog pile out of my little Prius and venture out for a roam ( we actually have an SUV but I prefer the looks I get when my dog sits up front ). All went smoothly but of course to keep my eye on them all it takes concentration. When I was piling us all back in the car a woman came up to me and asked if I was missing my dog. FYI I did have my dog but since people think I’m crazy and at times can look frazzled she actually thought I had another dog and had lost him down the path. I know her heart was in the right place but come on now lady, I have all my heads counted for thank you very much.

Another time we were at the beach across from the Ross Bay Cemetery, my three year old tells me she has to poo, of course she does. Here I am packing us all up, my youngest in my arm, diaper bag slung over my shoulder, my three year old holding on to her sister’s ankle and me holding my goofballs collar as we cross the street. I know I got the pity looks on that crossing. While my oldest is on the toilet I’m trying to contain my youngest and my dog in this very small washroom, they are both taking turns running in and out into the graveyard (I know, mom of the year award goes too…). Being that I like a challenge I thought I might as well go too? Of course my youngest darts, the goofball goes after her and my oldest tries to catch her. I obviously stop mid stream because who needs to finish taking a pee anyways and run out to find my youngest being pinned by my oldest. Well played my oldest, well played.

So, if you happen to be walking/driving on Dallas road and you see me with my 2 feisty gals and my great big goofball give me a wave of solidarity, toss me a lasso, anything…but do not make eye contact with my dog. Because THAT is an invitation for him to come charging in for his great big hello.